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NCAA player Derrick Gordan may have dealt with pressure from an ex lover and others that drove him into depression about his sexuality.
According to the Huffington Post, Division I player Derrrick Gordon released a statement to the public coming out as gay this week.
The UMass player came out to his teammates earlier this month saying that he had nothing to hide. Prior to his announcement, Gordon would spend time in gay bars in New York City. He feared that people seeing him in the environment would immediately out him.
"It was the worst four years of my life," Gordon said. "It was torture. I was just going around faking my whole life, being someone I'm not. It's like wearing a mask because everyone else was wearing that mask. Now that I'm taking the mask off, people can finally see who I really am."
He was also worried about a photo his ex boyfriend posted on Instagram of the two in front of a gay bar. After he 'liked' the photo, his teammates asked him if he was gay and denied it quickly.
"That was probably the lowest point I was ever at," he said. "I didn't want to play basketball anymore. I just wanted to run and hide somewhere. I used to go back to my room and I'd just cry. There were nights when I would cry myself to sleep."
With his mind clear, the player is hoping that others would be comfortable with themselves and their own sexuality.
Source: huffingtonpost.com
